Steven Wright
Steven Wright is a brilliant, slow-speaking, deadpan comedian. He has an unusual way of looking at
the world. Worth attending a performance if you get a chance.
Alex McEachern

  1. "It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature."

  2. "In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, 'Cut it out.'"

  3. "The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me."

  4. "Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?"

  5. "Power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators..."

  6. "Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick..."

  7. "My VCR flashes 01:35, 01:35, 01:35..."

  8. "I bought a microwave fireplace yesterday. Now I can have a whole evening's fire in just six minutes."

  9. "I just bought some batteries, but batteries were not included."

With thanks to Art Freund...
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